Wedg[i]e Strategy

Once upon a time, the Bill of Rights was ratified in the USA. The First Amendment guaranteed separation of church and state. And, lo, the people were happy.

As time passed, an evil grew. The fiendish fundies saw that the people were happy and intelligent, but were themselves neither. They gathered their forces and plotted to overthrow the advances of society. After a few hundred years, they noticed that no matter how much they brainwashed the ignorant, the separation of church and state still stood in the way of their efforts to plunge school classrooms into the Dark Ages. They needed a new dark champion to circumvent the rights of all children.

Lurking in the shadows was the mysterious Discovery Institute, which embarked upon an insidious wedge strategy, a plan to replace scientific teachings in schools, evolution in particular, with religious dogma. The creators of this strategy came up with intelligent design, a totally disingenuous scheme of repackaging biblical creationism by simply removing the references to god, so as to pretend that it is not religion and, worse, to pretend that it is science.

While progress has been slow, the shadowy figures have been busy. News of their desperate mission to hurt the education of all children has been spreading across the globe, spawning all manner of similar plans, including Intelligent Falling, first described by D.C. Simpson and Intelligent Division.

People everywhere with an IQ higher than a house brick have been wondering how to respond to this inanity. While the baseball bat response is admirable, I suggest something similarly inane: When you encounter a proponent of Intelligent Design and the Wedge Strategy, just counter it with the Wedgie Strategy. We can't stop them being stupid or evil, but we can at least make them easy to spot.

Wedgie Strategy

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